Anyway... funny or not-I've got something to talk about.
People often ask why we would even consider moving from England to Wisconsin. That is-people from WISCONSIN, who've never been to England, often ask us. When we were planning to move people in England never questioned it for a second.
Ok so, think us crazy or think us smart-we moved from England to Wisconsin. To the middle of nowhere. The actual middle of nowhere. If you had a map entitled 'Nowhere' and you pointed to the very center of it you'd be pointing at my house. Unless you have rheumatoid arthritice like my Grandpa John had-in which case you'd probably be pointing to my garage or one of the other buildings. Still-you get the idea.
Once you actually live in the middle of nowhere you start to appreciate it in a way no city dweller ever could.
We do have a town about 6-7 miles away. Population 509. Large enough to be called a town, small enough to stay off of the Walmart radar. In other words-just right!
Life here is different from England, obviously, but it's also different from 'big city' living in general. It's true what they say-there are no secrets here. For example we'd lived here a short while and somehow ended up at the library. We hadn't brought any documents with us to prove who we were in case we needed to apply for a library card. Turns out it wasn't necessary anyway. Everyone in the library (2 people at the time) knew who we were! They knew which house we'd bought and even knew where we'd moved from. I swear! It was a little weird to say the least. Not a bad weird, just a weird weird.
Where am I going with this?... Hm. dunno.
OH wait! see title. ok yeah.
One of the great things about small town/middle of nowhere life is that, all in all, everyone's pretty neighborly. We lived in the same house for 7 years in England and only knew 3 or 4 neighbors out of the 150 or so that lived in our little cul-de-sac. You kept your head down and your mouth shut. Heck we nearly had to give a blood sample to get a library card! It was a completely different world.
Now I know that big cities here in the States are often the same, I'm not saying they aren't. What I'm saying is 'Middle of Nowhere/Smal town life' is just right for me. (Stop singing Green Acres!!! I can hear you, ya know!)
Have you ever been to, say, Mississippi? We used to visit family there and we always got that same 'small town' kind of neighborly feeling. I'd ride in the truck with Grandpa and he'd be waving to everyone we passed. One time he even waved at a dog! (I guess you'd have to know Grandpa John to understand-he really was just THAT friendly!) Anyway the contrast stayed with me for a very long time-from English head down mouth shut to Mississippi dog waving. Which way of life was better? I gotta say-I love the small town, middle of nowhere, dog wavin life. There were a lot of brilliant advantages to living abroad, but not once did I see anyone wave at a dog.
So! (trying to hurry up-I think this introduction paragraph is getting a bit long winded!)
We live in the country. And we wave! If you're driving out on the roads around here people will wave at you. It doesn't matter if they know you, it's just a friendly little thing everyone does. So we joined in and now we too are wavers!
We've been here long enough now that if I'm driving and someone DOESN'T wave I almost get upset! What the heck?! And then I remind myself-they're probably from 'the city'. But so what! This is 'Nowhere'. Wave! It doesn't cost anything. It rarely hurts-if it does you're probably doing it wrong. It's just a kind gesture, one human acknowledging another. Some people even go so far as to smile at you! But they're weirdo's. We don't wave at them. ((Just kidding! We even wave at the weirdo's!))
So, being incredibly scientifically minded (I'd like to point out that I just spelled 'scientifically' wrong-just in case you believed I was ACTUALLY scientifically minded.) I decided to conduct an experiment.
Scott and I were in the car driving to Sparta (nearest 'big town-population 9000+ & 1 Walmart). I had so much faith in my fellow Americans that I was sure everyone I waved at on the drive to Sparta would wave back. It would almost be like a parade!
Turns out...they didn't. At first it was easy enough to make excuses for people. After all-it'd be pretty hard to wave while you're driving and talking on the phone and eating a cheeseburger while singing along to Taylor Swift on the radio. But as we got closer to town it got harder. I waved but they didn't wave back. Granted-some were old and so obviously didn't see me waving. But others were not so old, not on the phone and not even eating cheeseburgers! Obviously everyone I passed that day was from the 'city'. I started to get irate & my faith in humanity dwindled. What the heck is wrong with these people who can't even wave! GODSAKE! It got to the point where I wanted to stop the car and flag people down just to wave at them! (This way if they didn't wave back I could smack em in the face!)
Scott found all of this hilarious-at which point I decided that if I DID stop the car and wave someone down I was also going to push Scott out of the car before I resumed my travels to Sparta. Alas. I didn't stop.
I DID however decide something needed to be done! So I've done it. I've created a 'How to wave like you're from the country' guide for idiots, dummies and cityfolk in general'. Here's a brief summary of my 'guide to waving'.
We will start small. The one finger wave. NOW! I have to say that, if you are from the city, this is not the '1 finger wave' you may be used to giving and/or receiving!' That's an entirely different kind of wave. Use that one in the country (or the ghetto for that matter) and you're likely to get shot. Country folk are nice, but they don't take crap from anybody! (apart from the occasional manure purchased as a means of fertilizer in which case an arrangement has been made and the crap has been specifically requested. Rarely is anyone shot in such cases.)
Ok. the 1 finger wave. It's a good place to start. It's enough to count as a good gesture, but small enough to hide if you chicken out at the last minute because you're gutless and spineless. Or if you realize the person coming in the opposite direction is a) your arch enemy from the 2nd grade or b) a gov't officialIn such occasions feel free to pretend that you WERE doing the '1 finger city wave' instead of the '1 finger country wave' but keep in mind that both arch enemies and gov't officials often carry guns...
Feeling brave? Go for the full 1 handed wave!
For the more experienced waver there's what I like to call the 'reindeer wave'. I like to reserve this one for special times like hunting season or christmas because of the antler resemblance. Also-people think it's weird so it's best if you don't do it too often.
Then there's the 'I see you and I started waving early and it's obvious that you're not going to wave so I'm going to make it very obvious to you that I'm waving at you and thus the better man! wave'.
Ok. Those are the very basic basics of waving. Waving is a true art, if you've not done it before don't expect to be an expert on the first day. Take it slow and don't get too carried away-we're not landing planes here folks!
If you find that at first, in your excitement to acknowledge other humans, you are over zealous and people are afraid you are in danger or having a seizure, you might want to just take a step or two back and start with a friendly nod.
Looks something like this from the passenger's point of view I guess. What did you think you'd see anyway?
There you have it. Next time you're a little bit out of the city go ahead and try it! Like freaky looking vegetables-it may seem weird at first but you might find you like it.
If you really really don't want to wave, just be sure to always talk on your phone and eat a cheeseburger while you're driving I guess. That way the other person will probably give you the benefit of the doubt and you may just help them keep a little bit of faith in humanity by allowing them to make excuses on your behalf.
If you never leave the city and thus don't have the opportunity to wave at random strangers you could always try smiling :) This too is free and also rarely hurts(unless, again, you're doing something wrong!)
That's it for now. Let me know how it goes!
Goodnight folks!
(insert wave here!)
