Nikki, the cat we got to scare away Steve....

When we moved into the old farm house we currently live in we were never told that there were already existing tenants.  The first night we stayed in the house they (existing tenants) made their presence known.  They were so effective in their endeavours that they scared the begeezus out of Scott all night long and he stayed on watch with a mag light until the sun rose!  The next day Scott had decided we were moving out.

It turns out that our house guests(though at this point they viewed US as THEIR guests) were typical of old farm houses in winter.  There were about 376 mice. And then there was Steve...


It took quite a few days of living in the already occupied house before we realized the nature of our squatter.  Finding a cupboard full of torn out insulation and empty nut shells was our first clue. 

So we discovered Steve. Now I feel its important to explain why he's called Steve. 

My son B was scared of the noises that 'Steve' would make. And by B, I of course really mean Scott...  Anyway we'd recently watched a movie called 'Over the Hedge' where a gang of critters discovers a Hedge which they are scared of. To make it less scary they name this hedge Steve and it's immediately less scary.  So, hoping this magical power transfered to other items/creatures we named the squirrel Steve. Immediately he was less scary, almost part of the family.  But, like all family members, he had overstayed his welcome. 

I tried writing a very nice, yet firm, note stating that we appreciated his watching the house for us before we moved in but it was time to move on.  Apparently my dot com English/Squirrel translator wasn't working properly because Steve read the note and interpreted it to mean 'Effective immediately! Get a girl squirrel to move in with you'. So now we meet 'Steve's girlfriend'. (That was, in fact, her name).

After the failed note & the arrival of Steve's girlfriend panic started to set in.  We had visions of going to the coffee pot in the morning to see Steve, Steve's girlfriend and all Steve's babies already there brewing a pot themselves!  Time for drastic measures.
(Insert menacing music)
Meet Nikki, our 'Steve the squirrel' catching cat.
Or so we'd hoped...

Turns out Nikki was a 'scaredy cat'. Who knew this was an actual breed?!  When we first got him he lived in the tumble dryer for about a week and would not come out. 

After allowing a brief settling in period we explained to Nikki why we'd hired him. He was to evict Steve and Steve's girlfriend.

Cancel menacing music!

Nikki had no intentions of catching Steve.  It turns out that Nikki is a free loading scaredy cat! We would here Steve running in the ceiling and we'd say to Nikki 'Get HIM' and Nikki would not move, or-even worse, would proceed to lick himself in inappropriate places which, later, we were required to explain to our 7 year old son. 

In the end we got a live trap and caught Steve ourself.  He now lives about 10 miles up the road.  Steve's girlfriend no longer comes around though we wish them both the best and hope they were able to make their long distance relationship work.

Here's Steve by the way...




Nikki still lives with us, we didn't have the heart to fire the useless bag of fur.

We also didn't have the heart to tell him he's not a human. 
He insists that he is!

For example, the first few days we had him he would not drink water out of his water bowl. He absolutely refused. He'd rather spill the water all over the floor for us to step in than drink it himself.

He would, however, drink water if it was in a cup. ONLY if it was in a cup. See photo!

Unfortunately he still thought it was funny to occasionally pour his water all over the place so we started to put it in the bathtub. Now he still spills, but we don't step in it in the middle of the night.

If this wasn't enough, he also likes to sit like a 'people'.

There is plenty more I could tell you about Nikki,(like his diet-he's vegetarian!)  but for now this will have to do. After all, it's a big old family here and everyone wants their story to be told...