Ouch! That's gonna leave a mark.

So last Sunday a horse fell on me.  True story.

Shadey (Scott's new horse) and I were on a ride on Minnesota road and she was freaking out because of the cows. Mazzy(My horse) has cow-o-phobia and has somehow convinced Shadey that cows are evil. Now Shadey thinks She has cow-o-phobia as well.

Wait wait wait! I've not properly introduced you to the horses yet! What am I thinking!

Long story short(Yeah right, you don't believe that any more than I do!). Ok-rephrase. Long story shortened slightly but still pretty long...

We have 12 acres of land, all of which is considered 'recreational' for taxing purposes. This means $$$$$.  We were advised to get a couple animals to put on the land to
a) keep the tall grass down
b) keep the taxes down
Unfortunately the tax man doesn't make it that easy for you.
Right away I wanted to get a horse! We were advised that you had to be making money off of your animals to get it rezoned as 'agricultural'; an amount of at least $2000 was required in income off of the land.  Well 1 horse isn't gonna make us £2000 a year. Then I came across the ad on craigslist for the alpacas. If you haven't read that blog here it is: Do you even know what an alpaca is?!  So we got 2 alpacas. Then my wonderful friend Teresa Pulham called and convinced me that I still needed a horse! Lets be honest, it didn't take much convincing. AND it just so happens that she had a sweet baby horse looking for a new home!  SOLD!

So we got Breezy.

 There she is! She looks a bit scraggly here but that's because she had her winter coat on. She's gorgeous! She was pretty intimidating at first but the good folks at Pulhams Paints And Quarter Horses came out and taught me a few things.  Then it was smooth sailing really.  She was lovely. We'd go out to work in the pasture and she'd come right up to us to say hi. It was great....til it wasn't. It got so bad that we couldn't do ANYTHING in the pasture without having her right in our pocket.  You didn't dare bend over to tie your boot for fear she'd bump you right over in an attempt to get attention!  Everywhere you went she went, but it wasn't just that she wanted to be close. She had to be touching-you close!  Gotta be honest it was a bit creepy! So I called the good folks at P. P. & Q. H. again and they explained that she was displaying behaviour that indicated she was lonely.  Horses are herd animals-we knew that. We had intended to introduce her to the alpacas and goats once the fence was adequate to hold all of them, but she couldn't wait.  Turns out she'd decided Scott and I were her herd! As flattering as that was (flattering meaning creepy here, folks) the best solution was to get her a horse to keep her company.  That's right, we HAD to get ANOTHER horse! What a BUMMER.

Fortunately P. P. & Q. H. had a horse that would suit us.  Being new to horses we didn't want anything that was too intense.  So we met Mazzy.  Took her on a trail ride where a small(meaning large) amount of alcohol was consumed resulting in photos like this:

Don't be fooled by my goofy face! I was completely sober. The horse, on the other hand, had been drinking since 11am!  We took her home that day and She and Breezy get on splendidly.

















Scott introduced himself to Mazzy in a little less than orthodox manner.









 Just kidding! I just love this photo cause it looks like Scott's digging for gold or something, but really he's about 5 feet further back than Mazzy and he's clearing up that metal you see on the other side of her. Still-it's a pretty great photo! :D
So we got Mazzy, loved her and she settled in great. But she is young. 4. And has a mind of her own! Fine by me, I can deal with that now, but Scott wasn't too keen on it. He wanted a Cadillac of a horse. You know-power steering, power breaks, all that.   So we went to meet Shadey.  Scott rode her for about 30 seconds, realized she was bomb proof and dead broke and bought her! She really is a great horse.

What a face! :) She's lovely, but we soon found out she likes to RUN. She's part Arabian and that's pretty common. Trouble is-mix the running instinct with the power steering and all you have to do is lean forward a little bit in the saddle and she takes off like lightning! I love it! Scott-not so much.

Bu$t mix lightning speed with cow-a-phobia and you get a horse that runs and then turns when she sees a cow.  What results is not pretty... The horse turns but her feet continue to go forward. She tips over. And this time she landed on ME! Please pass the crutches and boot for my broken pancake foot! And the worst part is-after she fell on me she got up and ran home! She didn't even stick around to ask if I was alright! Cow-a-phobia is a serious condition folks.

So.... She ran home, was fine, and promptly forgot the whole thing. I laid in the road, unable to move, until Scott arrived to rescue me. 
Now I've been on these crutches a week now and my hands hurt so bad I can't walk(yeah, figure that one out!)  But it's given me time to appreciate what a fine tool the crutch actually is!  It has many uses and I've decided to make a short list.  Please feel free to read this out loud to the intro of the tune of 'We didn't start the fire'  Here's a little clip to remind you how it goes: Click here, fast forward to 30 seconds in...  So instead of ''Harry Truman, Doris Day' etc it goes like this:

Ode to Crutches...
toilet flusher
bug squisher
 hockey stick
cat whacker
cobweb sweeper
button pusher
remote control


window smasher
soda spiller
back scratcher
long jump pole
door slammer
jousting lance
old lady tripper

sling shot

kid poker
pool cue
goat smacker
rug pusher
door jam
nut cruncher
ETC...

Ok ok so I lost the rhythm of the song half way through but oh well.  Just don't ask how I figured some of these out.  I do need to say-no old ladies were actually tripped, nor were goats smacked, but the thought was there! =D Everything else probably happened.

***edited to add-everyone should go toPulhams Paint & Quarter Horses  They are great folks and have wonderful horses!