I had read in Tom Woloshyn's book The Complete Master Cleanse about cutting back on caffeine on the days leading up to your cleanse. This in itself was a motivation for me. I like caffeine! I like to have an extra shot of espresso IN my espresso! Gimme Gimme Gimme! Every once in a while I know I have to take a complete break from it though, back right off and reintroduce it slowly. Normally I have a little headache for a day or so-nothing a handful of tylenol can't fix. Anyway I read to cut back on caffeine by 25% a day for the 4 days leading up to your cleanse.
Now, maybe it's cause I'm an Aries, or maybe it's just cause I'm me-but I'm impatient! Once I decide I'm going to do something I NEED to do it right then before I loose my momentum. So instead of the normal 4 days of weening myself off, I cut my caffeine in half the first day and cut it out altogether the 2nd day(starting my cleanse then on the 3rd day). Add that to the normal detoxing side effects that your body goes through and I was a wreck! I had a headache that wouldn't quit! My HEADACHE had a headache! And there were only two ways to fix it. A) a bucket of coffee or B) tylenol. But wait-on the master cleanse the whole point is to NOT eat anything that can reactivate your digestion and detract from the healing that you want to occur. This means No PILLS, no gum, no candy, no tasting dinner as you cook it for your family, no nothing but your lemonade, salt water flush, Smooth Move tea or occasionally peppermint tea.
Well by day 2 I was close to non functioning, that's how bad it was. I tried all the things you're supposed to do-increase your water in case it's from dehydration (no, it's not! but I increased water anyway) tried to go to a 'happy place' in my mind but it turns out my happy place is starbucks so that backfired in a big way, tried meditation-that took me back to starbucks as well. In the end I took 2 tylenol. And I slept! And it was good. The next morning I was fine until about 9 (aka 2nd cup of coffee time). Then the headache started brewing (see the coffee reference there-not a coincidence!) So I did take 1 more tylenol to catch the headache before it got so bad this time. I have to say by that afternoon I was feeling pretty good!
Here's a brief breakdown of how the days went for me-just in case you're wondering how to plan your cleanse around your schedule.
Day 1-I worked thinking that by keeping busy I wouldn't notice that I was not eating 'food', just drinking it. By that afternoon the headache was already kickin my butt and I had a major fuzzy head! (I later read this is a common symptom at the beginning of the detoxing process)
Did salt water flush with NO results...
SM Herbal Tea in the evening.
Day 2 I was pretty much non functional, spent a lot of time resting and trying to get rid of my headache. I want to say that I had not yet had HUNGER pains! The drink was surprisingly satisfying and you can pretty much have as much as you want. If you're trying to actually lose weight you can reduce your maple syrup intake but I kept mine at the recommended level for just detoxing as I didn't want to cut out too many calories. I was still getting a good amount!
Did salt water flush AGAIN with no results...
SM Herbal Tea in the evening.
Day 3 'Its a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life....and I'm feeling good! No kidding! I felt fine!
Referencing the books/websites I'd read in preparation for the cleanse, I was aware that there would be food 'cravings'. This is not to be confused with hunger pains. This is more of a 'I HAVE to eat a WHOLE chocolate cake right now!' sort of craving. Not healthy, and apparently part of the detoxing process-when your body screams out for all the bad crap it's been so used to having. My craving was actually for sweet and sour chicken and I had it BAD. I was tempted to chuck the whole thing in, thinking surely 3 days was better than nothing((which is NOT true, by the way)) and just having the chicken. I'd already lost about 5.5 lbs at this point, I KNEW most of it was water but heck, this is sweet and sour chicken we're talking about. But no-I stayed strong and made it through and the chicken lived another day.
Did the salt water flush and learned why it's called FLUSH. Worked in a big time way! Wahoo.
SM Herbal Tea in the evening.
Day 4 Going Strong! I actually worked out! Just the treadmill for about 30 minutes-less than I'd normally do but I was cautious about overdoing it. Still, felt fine! Was hungry after so had a lemonade drink-I was actually starting to look forward to them!
As it took so long to start working, I did another salt water flush(with positive results again).
SM Herbal Tea in the evening.
Day 5 Fuzzy head is completely gone, have plenty of energy((not an exceptionally HIGH level, but I felt fine considering I was on such a limited diet AND I hadn't had caffeine in 5 days! I spent a lot of time this day trolling the master cleanse message forum boards reading other peoples stories and getting tips on things.
No SWF but did have SM Herbal Tea. It's important that you have this every day!
Day 6 I ventured out for the day. Had my first lemonade drink in the morning after my SWF. Then I mixed up my lemon juice and maple syrup. NOTE-when mixing it up in advance it's important you only mix up what you're about to drink in the next 10 minutes. The lemons start to loose their nutritional benefits after that amount of time. If you HAVE to mix it to take it with just mix it with the maple syrup((which will act as a preservative)) and add water and cayenne pepper right before you drink. This is important for another reason. If you add the cayenne pepper too early it starts to get hot...fast! Not pleasant! So I mixed up enough solution to take with me, packed up my cayenne pepper, measuring spoon and bottles of water and went out. Around lunch time I realized I'd packed everything BUT my mixture! OH CRAP! So I drank my bottles of water-having remembered that some folks actually do a water cleanse for a few days anyway-and made it home at about 6pm where I promptly downed 2 big glasses of lemonade. Unfortunately I did have hunger pains at this point, my own fault for forgetting my solution. This eventually resulted in the early demise of my 10 day plan.(10 days is the recommended minimum for the cleanse, some people go weeks or even months!)
SM Herbal Tea in the evening.
Day 7 still having hunger pains, broke down and had a glass of fresh squeezed orange juice in the evening, was heart broken! It'd been going so well. Lost 8.5 lbs and was feeling good up until the day I forgot my 'food'.
SM Herbal Tea in the evening.
Day 8 a day of juices, lemonade and eventually soup-coming off the cleanse.
1 last SWF and still having the herbal tea at night.
Day 9 The same to eat again-still trying to focus mainly on the lemonade but also had juice, soup and crackers.
No SWF, instead it's time to start putting back the GOOD bacteria now by introducing prebiotics 2x a day(or whatever your particular brand suggests)
Now I'm back to a 'normal' diet, but really I'm not! I'm using this weight loss/cleanse as a launching pad for my next weight watchers trip! I worked out that one glass of lemonade is 1 point for me(old system, not points plus system) and so I supplement that in when I am getting hungry. It fills me up and gets me through til the next meal time where I can enjoy proper healthy food.
Right folks-I'm super tired right now from a long day, will write more asap. Just know that IF you are considering doing this cleanse there is more you need to know! If you want to start before I finish my blog entries I'd say get a couple books on it from the library. Heck-you should do that anyway-for your own piece of mind. Some of the books can be read on google books.com also there are a LOT of websites about the master cleanse-a lot of them have forums where you can read/ask questions and that helps a lot too.
Good night folks!
Monday, March 19, 2012
The Master Cleanse...(insert menacing music here!)
Ok. Right about now I'd like to state for the record that I have not lost my mind. I'm sure on any given day one or two people question my sanity in general but this is about to push that statistic WAY up. Just trust me. I'm not crazy! I'm not a fool! I have no emails from Mr. T saying 'I pity you, Beth.' I AM open minded and willing to try new things....
Well...Not totally open minded. In fact I'd heard about the Master Cleanse before and was pretty sure it was for crazy loons! Everything pointed to success when you read about how well this 'diet/cleanse' worked, but it seemed to have a bit of 'eating disorder' thrown in for good measure. I've tried a lot of things in an attempt to get/stay healthy and lose weight. Lately I've fallen victim to the torturous Jillian Michaels. Don't get me wrong, she's great in that whole 'Do 100 push ups right now or I will activate a tracking device in this dvd, hunt you down and gut you like a wimpy fish!' sort of way. Some people don't like it but for me it works. Sometimes I even do an EXTRA push up just in case she's using one of those devices from 'Enemy of the State' and watching me. Ya, she's pretty scary.
I've also inherited a treadmill. I've done 4-5 miles every morning for the past 2 weeks or so. Today is my FIRST day off and it's only because the shin splints I've had since day 3 of 'uphill treadmill mode' have finally conquered me. I have been very determined but as of yesterday my shinsplints say 'You and your measly 800mg of tylenol are no match for me and my excruciating powers of shooting pain!' so I am taking a day off for rest. Probably... Unless I finish everything I need to do before work and have time to squeeze in a quick 30 minutes. NO! I can't do it! Ugh. This is awful. I need to work out but I need to rest(but I NEED to work out!).
The thing is, I've been hovering at this weight I'm at (I won't tell you what it is, but I will say my BMI is 25 which is RIGHT on the line between ok and overweight) for too long now. Nothing, not even Jillian, helps to shift the weight. I am toned up, sure, but still feeling blah. I know how to lose weight, I've done it before. Weight watchers helped me shift a wonder 25lbs once. Now even that doesn't help.
THEN... I saw a post on facebook from my old buddy Kristen! All it said was 'Day 4 of the cleanse, down 5 lbs already' or something to that effect. STOP THE PRESS! Kristen is doing the master cleanse? But she's not an anorexic loon! Shes a perfectly normal-if not exceptional-person! She's one of those friends who-if she said to said 'Stop wearing socks to prevent global warming.' I'd seriously consider switching to flip flops and want to hear all about her theory! In other words-I trust her judgement. AND-she's lost 5lbs. What's not to like! :D
So I've talked about it with her a little bit, read TONS on the internet(and we all know everything on the internet is true-just like everything on tv) and I've read Tom Woloshyn's The Complete Master Cleanse. Guess what folks, I'm willing to give it a try. Here's why!
First off because it's NOT about losing weight! It really isn't. Sure you lose weight but it's not a starvation diet sort of thing like you might be thinking. Apparently you go to the bathroom a lot! (a lot lot lot lot lot!) as part of the whole cleanse thing. It's kind of (but not entirely) like a fast. The whole idea is to let your body(which used 25% of its energy digesting food) have a break. That way the body can divert most or all of that energy to repairing itself. Kind of like when you have a bad stomach flu and your gut does NOT want you to eat anything! It just wants to work on healing itself before you bombard it with more food.
When we're sick-even with a cold-what do you eat? Chicken soup! Or better-chicken broth! Easily digestible liquids. That way your body can focus on what needs to be done.
But what about vitamins and nutrients? How do you get all your vitamins and nutrients from those 4 measly ingredients? (which by the way-incase you've never heard of this master cleanse before-all you have to eat/drink is:
Fresh squeezed lemons(which provide high levels of potassium, calcium and magnesium, calcium, phosphorus, sodium, zinc, copper, selenium and iron, thiamine, riboflavin, niacin, pantothenic acid(vitamin b-5) and vitamin b6.
Cayenne Pepper(high in vitamin A and vitamin C, also contains Vitamin B, Potassium and calcium. It's a stimulant that increases metabolism, increases circulation and helps with digestive disorders) The function of the pepper is to break down and loosen mucus in the body-benefiting sinuses, bronchial tubes, and lungs.
Water-well water or spring water is best, but at least do your best to avoid chlorinated water or fluoridated water.
Maple Syrup-(You can ALSO use raw cane syrup or freshly pressed cane juice if available-NOT HONEY) Maple syrup contains a number of minerals and vitamins in trace amounts depending on where it was collected. Examples are: potassium, calcium, magnesium. maganese, phosphorus, sodium, iron, zinc, copper, tin, sulfur, silicon, Vitamins A, B-1, B-2, B-5, B-6, boitin and folic acid are present as well.
It's recommended that you use ALL ORGANIC products, and apparently the flavor is worth the extra cost. Also GRADE A Maple Syrup is the most appropriate as it's normally highest in those essential vitamins and minerals you need. Grade B can be used, but keep your eye out for Grade A if possible. ALSO! Make sure there are no additives! You'd be surprised. Honestly-look for the organic grade A if possible.
Do NOT use Meyers Lemons(cross between a lemon and a mandarin orange) for the cleanse! They are less acidic(which-by the way in case you're worrying about the acidity of lemons keep in mind that they have a more alkaline property when being digested-meyers lemons have less acidity and slightly different properties.
I'm gonna wrap this blog up here and start a new entry about more specific details and the lovely SWF (Salt Water Flush-It's not called 'FLUSH' for nothin folks!)
Well...Not totally open minded. In fact I'd heard about the Master Cleanse before and was pretty sure it was for crazy loons! Everything pointed to success when you read about how well this 'diet/cleanse' worked, but it seemed to have a bit of 'eating disorder' thrown in for good measure. I've tried a lot of things in an attempt to get/stay healthy and lose weight. Lately I've fallen victim to the torturous Jillian Michaels. Don't get me wrong, she's great in that whole 'Do 100 push ups right now or I will activate a tracking device in this dvd, hunt you down and gut you like a wimpy fish!' sort of way. Some people don't like it but for me it works. Sometimes I even do an EXTRA push up just in case she's using one of those devices from 'Enemy of the State' and watching me. Ya, she's pretty scary.
I've also inherited a treadmill. I've done 4-5 miles every morning for the past 2 weeks or so. Today is my FIRST day off and it's only because the shin splints I've had since day 3 of 'uphill treadmill mode' have finally conquered me. I have been very determined but as of yesterday my shinsplints say 'You and your measly 800mg of tylenol are no match for me and my excruciating powers of shooting pain!' so I am taking a day off for rest. Probably... Unless I finish everything I need to do before work and have time to squeeze in a quick 30 minutes. NO! I can't do it! Ugh. This is awful. I need to work out but I need to rest(but I NEED to work out!).
The thing is, I've been hovering at this weight I'm at (I won't tell you what it is, but I will say my BMI is 25 which is RIGHT on the line between ok and overweight) for too long now. Nothing, not even Jillian, helps to shift the weight. I am toned up, sure, but still feeling blah. I know how to lose weight, I've done it before. Weight watchers helped me shift a wonder 25lbs once. Now even that doesn't help.
THEN... I saw a post on facebook from my old buddy Kristen! All it said was 'Day 4 of the cleanse, down 5 lbs already' or something to that effect. STOP THE PRESS! Kristen is doing the master cleanse? But she's not an anorexic loon! Shes a perfectly normal-if not exceptional-person! She's one of those friends who-if she said to said 'Stop wearing socks to prevent global warming.' I'd seriously consider switching to flip flops and want to hear all about her theory! In other words-I trust her judgement. AND-she's lost 5lbs. What's not to like! :D
So I've talked about it with her a little bit, read TONS on the internet(and we all know everything on the internet is true-just like everything on tv) and I've read Tom Woloshyn's The Complete Master Cleanse. Guess what folks, I'm willing to give it a try. Here's why!
First off because it's NOT about losing weight! It really isn't. Sure you lose weight but it's not a starvation diet sort of thing like you might be thinking. Apparently you go to the bathroom a lot! (a lot lot lot lot lot!) as part of the whole cleanse thing. It's kind of (but not entirely) like a fast. The whole idea is to let your body(which used 25% of its energy digesting food) have a break. That way the body can divert most or all of that energy to repairing itself. Kind of like when you have a bad stomach flu and your gut does NOT want you to eat anything! It just wants to work on healing itself before you bombard it with more food.
When we're sick-even with a cold-what do you eat? Chicken soup! Or better-chicken broth! Easily digestible liquids. That way your body can focus on what needs to be done.
But what about vitamins and nutrients? How do you get all your vitamins and nutrients from those 4 measly ingredients? (which by the way-incase you've never heard of this master cleanse before-all you have to eat/drink is:
Fresh squeezed lemons(which provide high levels of potassium, calcium and magnesium, calcium, phosphorus, sodium, zinc, copper, selenium and iron, thiamine, riboflavin, niacin, pantothenic acid(vitamin b-5) and vitamin b6.
Cayenne Pepper(high in vitamin A and vitamin C, also contains Vitamin B, Potassium and calcium. It's a stimulant that increases metabolism, increases circulation and helps with digestive disorders) The function of the pepper is to break down and loosen mucus in the body-benefiting sinuses, bronchial tubes, and lungs.
Water-well water or spring water is best, but at least do your best to avoid chlorinated water or fluoridated water.
Maple Syrup-(You can ALSO use raw cane syrup or freshly pressed cane juice if available-NOT HONEY) Maple syrup contains a number of minerals and vitamins in trace amounts depending on where it was collected. Examples are: potassium, calcium, magnesium. maganese, phosphorus, sodium, iron, zinc, copper, tin, sulfur, silicon, Vitamins A, B-1, B-2, B-5, B-6, boitin and folic acid are present as well.
It's recommended that you use ALL ORGANIC products, and apparently the flavor is worth the extra cost. Also GRADE A Maple Syrup is the most appropriate as it's normally highest in those essential vitamins and minerals you need. Grade B can be used, but keep your eye out for Grade A if possible. ALSO! Make sure there are no additives! You'd be surprised. Honestly-look for the organic grade A if possible.
Do NOT use Meyers Lemons(cross between a lemon and a mandarin orange) for the cleanse! They are less acidic(which-by the way in case you're worrying about the acidity of lemons keep in mind that they have a more alkaline property when being digested-meyers lemons have less acidity and slightly different properties.
I'm gonna wrap this blog up here and start a new entry about more specific details and the lovely SWF (Salt Water Flush-It's not called 'FLUSH' for nothin folks!)
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
Do the wave.
I realize it's been a while since I have written any sort of blog. The trouble is-everything I write is either fact or based on fact and nothing factual has happened lately that's worth writing about. Even the fictional things that have happened haven't been that funny
Anyway... funny or not-I've got something to talk about.
People often ask why we would even consider moving from England to Wisconsin. That is-people from WISCONSIN, who've never been to England, often ask us. When we were planning to move people in England never questioned it for a second.
Ok so, think us crazy or think us smart-we moved from England to Wisconsin. To the middle of nowhere. The actual middle of nowhere. If you had a map entitled 'Nowhere' and you pointed to the very center of it you'd be pointing at my house. Unless you have rheumatoid arthritice like my Grandpa John had-in which case you'd probably be pointing to my garage or one of the other buildings. Still-you get the idea.
Once you actually live in the middle of nowhere you start to appreciate it in a way no city dweller ever could.
We do have a town about 6-7 miles away. Population 509. Large enough to be called a town, small enough to stay off of the Walmart radar. In other words-just right!
Life here is different from England, obviously, but it's also different from 'big city' living in general. It's true what they say-there are no secrets here. For example we'd lived here a short while and somehow ended up at the library. We hadn't brought any documents with us to prove who we were in case we needed to apply for a library card. Turns out it wasn't necessary anyway. Everyone in the library (2 people at the time) knew who we were! They knew which house we'd bought and even knew where we'd moved from. I swear! It was a little weird to say the least. Not a bad weird, just a weird weird.
Where am I going with this?... Hm. dunno.
OH wait! see title. ok yeah.
One of the great things about small town/middle of nowhere life is that, all in all, everyone's pretty neighborly. We lived in the same house for 7 years in England and only knew 3 or 4 neighbors out of the 150 or so that lived in our little cul-de-sac. You kept your head down and your mouth shut. Heck we nearly had to give a blood sample to get a library card! It was a completely different world.
Now I know that big cities here in the States are often the same, I'm not saying they aren't. What I'm saying is 'Middle of Nowhere/Smal town life' is just right for me. (Stop singing Green Acres!!! I can hear you, ya know!)
Have you ever been to, say, Mississippi? We used to visit family there and we always got that same 'small town' kind of neighborly feeling. I'd ride in the truck with Grandpa and he'd be waving to everyone we passed. One time he even waved at a dog! (I guess you'd have to know Grandpa John to understand-he really was just THAT friendly!) Anyway the contrast stayed with me for a very long time-from English head down mouth shut to Mississippi dog waving. Which way of life was better? I gotta say-I love the small town, middle of nowhere, dog wavin life. There were a lot of brilliant advantages to living abroad, but not once did I see anyone wave at a dog.
So! (trying to hurry up-I think this introduction paragraph is getting a bit long winded!)
We live in the country. And we wave! If you're driving out on the roads around here people will wave at you. It doesn't matter if they know you, it's just a friendly little thing everyone does. So we joined in and now we too are wavers!
We've been here long enough now that if I'm driving and someone DOESN'T wave I almost get upset! What the heck?! And then I remind myself-they're probably from 'the city'. But so what! This is 'Nowhere'. Wave! It doesn't cost anything. It rarely hurts-if it does you're probably doing it wrong. It's just a kind gesture, one human acknowledging another. Some people even go so far as to smile at you! But they're weirdo's. We don't wave at them. ((Just kidding! We even wave at the weirdo's!))
So, being incredibly scientifically minded (I'd like to point out that I just spelled 'scientifically' wrong-just in case you believed I was ACTUALLY scientifically minded.) I decided to conduct an experiment.
Scott and I were in the car driving to Sparta (nearest 'big town-population 9000+ & 1 Walmart). I had so much faith in my fellow Americans that I was sure everyone I waved at on the drive to Sparta would wave back. It would almost be like a parade!
Turns out...they didn't. At first it was easy enough to make excuses for people. After all-it'd be pretty hard to wave while you're driving and talking on the phone and eating a cheeseburger while singing along to Taylor Swift on the radio. But as we got closer to town it got harder. I waved but they didn't wave back. Granted-some were old and so obviously didn't see me waving. But others were not so old, not on the phone and not even eating cheeseburgers! Obviously everyone I passed that day was from the 'city'. I started to get irate & my faith in humanity dwindled. What the heck is wrong with these people who can't even wave! GODSAKE! It got to the point where I wanted to stop the car and flag people down just to wave at them! (This way if they didn't wave back I could smack em in the face!)
Scott found all of this hilarious-at which point I decided that if I DID stop the car and wave someone down I was also going to push Scott out of the car before I resumed my travels to Sparta. Alas. I didn't stop.
I DID however decide something needed to be done! So I've done it. I've created a 'How to wave like you're from the country' guide for idiots, dummies and cityfolk in general'. Here's a brief summary of my 'guide to waving'.
We will start small. The one finger wave. NOW! I have to say that, if you are from the city, this is not the '1 finger wave' you may be used to giving and/or receiving!' That's an entirely different kind of wave. Use that one in the country (or the ghetto for that matter) and you're likely to get shot. Country folk are nice, but they don't take crap from anybody! (apart from the occasional manure purchased as a means of fertilizer in which case an arrangement has been made and the crap has been specifically requested. Rarely is anyone shot in such cases.)
Ok. the 1 finger wave. It's a good place to start. It's enough to count as a good gesture, but small enough to hide if you chicken out at the last minute because you're gutless and spineless. Or if you realize the person coming in the opposite direction is a) your arch enemy from the 2nd grade or b) a gov't official
In such occasions feel free to pretend that you WERE doing the '1 finger city wave' instead of the '1 finger country wave' but keep in mind that both arch enemies and gov't officials often carry guns...
Feeling brave? Go for the full 1 handed wave!
In the interest of safety please keep your hand on the steering wheel, or your cheeseburger or phone or computer or knitting or whatever else you happen to be doing while driving I guess.
For the more experienced waver there's what I like to call the 'reindeer wave'. I like to reserve this one for special times like hunting season or christmas because of the antler resemblance. Also-people think it's weird so it's best if you don't do it too often.
Then there's the 'I see you and I started waving early and it's obvious that you're not going to wave so I'm going to make it very obvious to you that I'm waving at you and thus the better man! wave'.
((By the way-has anyone else noticed I'm almost out of gas?!))
Ok. Those are the very basic basics of waving. Waving is a true art, if you've not done it before don't expect to be an expert on the first day. Take it slow and don't get too carried away-we're not landing planes here folks!
If you find that at first, in your excitement to acknowledge other humans, you are over zealous and people are afraid you are in danger or having a seizure, you might want to just take a step or two back and start with a friendly nod.
Looks something like this from the passenger's point of view I guess. What did you think you'd see anyway?
There you have it. Next time you're a little bit out of the city go ahead and try it! Like freaky looking vegetables-it may seem weird at first but you might find you like it.
If you really really don't want to wave, just be sure to always talk on your phone and eat a cheeseburger while you're driving I guess. That way the other person will probably give you the benefit of the doubt and you may just help them keep a little bit of faith in humanity by allowing them to make excuses on your behalf.
If you never leave the city and thus don't have the opportunity to wave at random strangers you could always try smiling :) This too is free and also rarely hurts(unless, again, you're doing something wrong!)
That's it for now. Let me know how it goes!
Goodnight folks!
(insert wave here!)
Anyway... funny or not-I've got something to talk about.
People often ask why we would even consider moving from England to Wisconsin. That is-people from WISCONSIN, who've never been to England, often ask us. When we were planning to move people in England never questioned it for a second.
Ok so, think us crazy or think us smart-we moved from England to Wisconsin. To the middle of nowhere. The actual middle of nowhere. If you had a map entitled 'Nowhere' and you pointed to the very center of it you'd be pointing at my house. Unless you have rheumatoid arthritice like my Grandpa John had-in which case you'd probably be pointing to my garage or one of the other buildings. Still-you get the idea.
Once you actually live in the middle of nowhere you start to appreciate it in a way no city dweller ever could.
We do have a town about 6-7 miles away. Population 509. Large enough to be called a town, small enough to stay off of the Walmart radar. In other words-just right!
Life here is different from England, obviously, but it's also different from 'big city' living in general. It's true what they say-there are no secrets here. For example we'd lived here a short while and somehow ended up at the library. We hadn't brought any documents with us to prove who we were in case we needed to apply for a library card. Turns out it wasn't necessary anyway. Everyone in the library (2 people at the time) knew who we were! They knew which house we'd bought and even knew where we'd moved from. I swear! It was a little weird to say the least. Not a bad weird, just a weird weird.
Where am I going with this?... Hm. dunno.
OH wait! see title. ok yeah.
One of the great things about small town/middle of nowhere life is that, all in all, everyone's pretty neighborly. We lived in the same house for 7 years in England and only knew 3 or 4 neighbors out of the 150 or so that lived in our little cul-de-sac. You kept your head down and your mouth shut. Heck we nearly had to give a blood sample to get a library card! It was a completely different world.
Now I know that big cities here in the States are often the same, I'm not saying they aren't. What I'm saying is 'Middle of Nowhere/Smal town life' is just right for me. (Stop singing Green Acres!!! I can hear you, ya know!)
Have you ever been to, say, Mississippi? We used to visit family there and we always got that same 'small town' kind of neighborly feeling. I'd ride in the truck with Grandpa and he'd be waving to everyone we passed. One time he even waved at a dog! (I guess you'd have to know Grandpa John to understand-he really was just THAT friendly!) Anyway the contrast stayed with me for a very long time-from English head down mouth shut to Mississippi dog waving. Which way of life was better? I gotta say-I love the small town, middle of nowhere, dog wavin life. There were a lot of brilliant advantages to living abroad, but not once did I see anyone wave at a dog.
So! (trying to hurry up-I think this introduction paragraph is getting a bit long winded!)
We live in the country. And we wave! If you're driving out on the roads around here people will wave at you. It doesn't matter if they know you, it's just a friendly little thing everyone does. So we joined in and now we too are wavers!
We've been here long enough now that if I'm driving and someone DOESN'T wave I almost get upset! What the heck?! And then I remind myself-they're probably from 'the city'. But so what! This is 'Nowhere'. Wave! It doesn't cost anything. It rarely hurts-if it does you're probably doing it wrong. It's just a kind gesture, one human acknowledging another. Some people even go so far as to smile at you! But they're weirdo's. We don't wave at them. ((Just kidding! We even wave at the weirdo's!))
So, being incredibly scientifically minded (I'd like to point out that I just spelled 'scientifically' wrong-just in case you believed I was ACTUALLY scientifically minded.) I decided to conduct an experiment.
Scott and I were in the car driving to Sparta (nearest 'big town-population 9000+ & 1 Walmart). I had so much faith in my fellow Americans that I was sure everyone I waved at on the drive to Sparta would wave back. It would almost be like a parade!
Turns out...they didn't. At first it was easy enough to make excuses for people. After all-it'd be pretty hard to wave while you're driving and talking on the phone and eating a cheeseburger while singing along to Taylor Swift on the radio. But as we got closer to town it got harder. I waved but they didn't wave back. Granted-some were old and so obviously didn't see me waving. But others were not so old, not on the phone and not even eating cheeseburgers! Obviously everyone I passed that day was from the 'city'. I started to get irate & my faith in humanity dwindled. What the heck is wrong with these people who can't even wave! GODSAKE! It got to the point where I wanted to stop the car and flag people down just to wave at them! (This way if they didn't wave back I could smack em in the face!)
Scott found all of this hilarious-at which point I decided that if I DID stop the car and wave someone down I was also going to push Scott out of the car before I resumed my travels to Sparta. Alas. I didn't stop.
I DID however decide something needed to be done! So I've done it. I've created a 'How to wave like you're from the country' guide for idiots, dummies and cityfolk in general'. Here's a brief summary of my 'guide to waving'.
We will start small. The one finger wave. NOW! I have to say that, if you are from the city, this is not the '1 finger wave' you may be used to giving and/or receiving!' That's an entirely different kind of wave. Use that one in the country (or the ghetto for that matter) and you're likely to get shot. Country folk are nice, but they don't take crap from anybody! (apart from the occasional manure purchased as a means of fertilizer in which case an arrangement has been made and the crap has been specifically requested. Rarely is anyone shot in such cases.)
Ok. the 1 finger wave. It's a good place to start. It's enough to count as a good gesture, but small enough to hide if you chicken out at the last minute because you're gutless and spineless. Or if you realize the person coming in the opposite direction is a) your arch enemy from the 2nd grade or b) a gov't officialIn such occasions feel free to pretend that you WERE doing the '1 finger city wave' instead of the '1 finger country wave' but keep in mind that both arch enemies and gov't officials often carry guns...
Feeling brave? Go for the full 1 handed wave!
For the more experienced waver there's what I like to call the 'reindeer wave'. I like to reserve this one for special times like hunting season or christmas because of the antler resemblance. Also-people think it's weird so it's best if you don't do it too often.
Then there's the 'I see you and I started waving early and it's obvious that you're not going to wave so I'm going to make it very obvious to you that I'm waving at you and thus the better man! wave'.
Ok. Those are the very basic basics of waving. Waving is a true art, if you've not done it before don't expect to be an expert on the first day. Take it slow and don't get too carried away-we're not landing planes here folks!
If you find that at first, in your excitement to acknowledge other humans, you are over zealous and people are afraid you are in danger or having a seizure, you might want to just take a step or two back and start with a friendly nod.
Looks something like this from the passenger's point of view I guess. What did you think you'd see anyway?
There you have it. Next time you're a little bit out of the city go ahead and try it! Like freaky looking vegetables-it may seem weird at first but you might find you like it.
If you really really don't want to wave, just be sure to always talk on your phone and eat a cheeseburger while you're driving I guess. That way the other person will probably give you the benefit of the doubt and you may just help them keep a little bit of faith in humanity by allowing them to make excuses on your behalf.
If you never leave the city and thus don't have the opportunity to wave at random strangers you could always try smiling :) This too is free and also rarely hurts(unless, again, you're doing something wrong!)
That's it for now. Let me know how it goes!
Goodnight folks!
(insert wave here!)
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Two months & no sarcasm in sight....
Often times I will come on here and write a blog in all seriousness and somehow manage to add just the right amount of sarcasm mixed with ridiculously embarrassing true-life stories. The result is an in-box with comments like 'Your blog makes me laugh out loud!' At first I thought perhaps the world is finally starting to understand my inscrutable sense of humour. ((If you have to look up the word 'inscrutable' don't feel bad-I won't tell you what word I put into 'thesaurus.com' to GET that word, but it fits none-the-less)). Anyway, it turns out, more often than not, people aren't laughing at my humour so much as my life in general, all the while thanking their deity-specific Gods that they aren't in my shoes. It's not that my life is bad-it's not. I think they're thinking LITERALLY-in that they wouldn't want to be living my life in my shoes because, well-I live on a farm and sometimes on farms you step in things you wish you hadn't. I suppose I too would find this funny if it happened to someone else, but it's never funny when it's your own shoes...
Is there a point to these ramblings? No, not really.
By the way-did you know that thesaurus.com lists 'spread-eagle', 'trail' and 'zig-zag' as synonyms for 'ramble/rambling'? What the heck?!
Anyway-I'm zig-zagging...(see what I did there?!)
So where have I been for the past two months? Why was I not here-writing fantastically sarcastic and even bitterly funny blogs?
Life. Sometimes it gets in the way of the stuff I wanna do-like come on blogger.com and blog! Although as it happens I was too busy doing 'stuff I wanna do' to come here and write 'stuff I wanna write'. Have I lost you? Well-obviously you weren't paying attention. Please go back to the beginning and start again. And focus! You think I just sit here and write this for my own benefit?! NO! I'm teaching life lessons here! Oh wait. No. Turns out it's just for my benefit... and for those who like to laugh at the less fortunate, ''less fortunate'' meaning those who have duck crap on the bottom of their shoes, of course.
Blah blah-I'm zig-zagging again.
So what have I been up to?
1. Lots of fartsy-crafty projects. I'm not good at it but I enjoy it none-the-less.
2. Signed up for a ceramics class at Generous Earth Pottery. www.generousearthpottery.com (fantastic place!)
3. Working 2 days a week at a 'real' job
4. Took care of sick kitty Carlos-he had a series of strokes over a couple of weeks, needed a lot of care and steroids every day. :( He's gone now. Within 24 hours of his passing a new kitty came into our lives and she took up a fair bit of my time at first too-that's a whole nother story!
5. Other stuff
6. Thanksgiving stuff
7. more other stuff*
8. Christmas stuff
9. pinterset pinterest pinterest!
10. Miscellaneous things
*please do not assume that 'more other stuff' is the same as 'other stuff'. They are in fact two different 'stuff's. The word 'stuff' is used here to replace things that I don't feel like telling you about for 3 reasons:
1. it's probably none of your business
2. it may be something like 'housework' or 'ironing'. Although I did these things over the past 2 months it's quite likely that those who know me would doubt this and may even insist that I don't know how to work an iron and so none of it can possibly be true
3. it was probably something boring and I'd rather say 'other stuff' so that you can let your imagination run wild. Perhaps you assume 'other stuff' to mean galavanting, partying, socialising, getting tattoos in inappropriate places etc. all of which aren't true, but still-feel free to imagine that's what it means.
Also please note-none of these reasons are mutually exclusive! Perhaps it's NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS where I got my TATTOO while I was IRONING! hm! =D
Anyway-I'm zig-zagging again.
Perhaps it's best that I leave it there. If I attempt to get into any specifics right now I'll probably end up rambling, or 'sprawling' (also a synonym from thesaurus.com. just fyi!)
I'm hoping to be back soon, perhaps even with a point! For now I just wanted to check in. So Hello! Goodnight! =D
Is there a point to these ramblings? No, not really.
By the way-did you know that thesaurus.com lists 'spread-eagle', 'trail' and 'zig-zag' as synonyms for 'ramble/rambling'? What the heck?!
Anyway-I'm zig-zagging...(see what I did there?!)
So where have I been for the past two months? Why was I not here-writing fantastically sarcastic and even bitterly funny blogs?
Life. Sometimes it gets in the way of the stuff I wanna do-like come on blogger.com and blog! Although as it happens I was too busy doing 'stuff I wanna do' to come here and write 'stuff I wanna write'. Have I lost you? Well-obviously you weren't paying attention. Please go back to the beginning and start again. And focus! You think I just sit here and write this for my own benefit?! NO! I'm teaching life lessons here! Oh wait. No. Turns out it's just for my benefit... and for those who like to laugh at the less fortunate, ''less fortunate'' meaning those who have duck crap on the bottom of their shoes, of course.
Blah blah-I'm zig-zagging again.
So what have I been up to?
1. Lots of fartsy-crafty projects. I'm not good at it but I enjoy it none-the-less.
2. Signed up for a ceramics class at Generous Earth Pottery. www.generousearthpottery.com (fantastic place!)
3. Working 2 days a week at a 'real' job
4. Took care of sick kitty Carlos-he had a series of strokes over a couple of weeks, needed a lot of care and steroids every day. :( He's gone now. Within 24 hours of his passing a new kitty came into our lives and she took up a fair bit of my time at first too-that's a whole nother story!
5. Other stuff
6. Thanksgiving stuff
7. more other stuff*
8. Christmas stuff
9. pinterset pinterest pinterest!
10. Miscellaneous things
*please do not assume that 'more other stuff' is the same as 'other stuff'. They are in fact two different 'stuff's. The word 'stuff' is used here to replace things that I don't feel like telling you about for 3 reasons:
1. it's probably none of your business
2. it may be something like 'housework' or 'ironing'. Although I did these things over the past 2 months it's quite likely that those who know me would doubt this and may even insist that I don't know how to work an iron and so none of it can possibly be true
3. it was probably something boring and I'd rather say 'other stuff' so that you can let your imagination run wild. Perhaps you assume 'other stuff' to mean galavanting, partying, socialising, getting tattoos in inappropriate places etc. all of which aren't true, but still-feel free to imagine that's what it means.
Also please note-none of these reasons are mutually exclusive! Perhaps it's NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS where I got my TATTOO while I was IRONING! hm! =D
Anyway-I'm zig-zagging again.
Perhaps it's best that I leave it there. If I attempt to get into any specifics right now I'll probably end up rambling, or 'sprawling' (also a synonym from thesaurus.com. just fyi!)
I'm hoping to be back soon, perhaps even with a point! For now I just wanted to check in. So Hello! Goodnight! =D
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Scared to death...just for a second.
We live in the country. The sticks. The boon docks. We have accepted it, love it and wouldn't have it any other way. Trouble is-there are wild animals out here! And they run free like they own the place! In the past two years we've had various little(and not so little) creatures in our yard (that's to say within 10 feet of the house). We've had, in order of size(just to make it fun!) voles, mice, bats, (all of those have actually been IN the house!) snakes, squirrels(also in the house!), rabbits, stray cats(yep-in the house!), stray dog, raccoons, owls, coyote & deer(not in the house-you crazy?!). Mind you, this is all in addition to the animals we have in our make shift petting zoo outside. I have no doubts that there are other animals out there too, opposum most likely, eagles (we've seen them up the road and hear them once in a while),we've heard of a roaming bobcat, etc. I say etc here because I don't dare ponder on this thought too long or I'll never actually go outside to leave the house again!
Anyway my point-when Scott told me there was a fuzzy bear outside the bathroom my heart stopped! Bears have been seen around here, rarely, and not recently, but it's not unheard of. I suddenly had visions of this 8000 lb fuzzy bear breaking in the bathroom window in search of picnic baskets! I started mentally making a list of all the animals I could save before this fuzzy bear ravished them in his furry. Cats, ducks, goats, alpaca, Brandon, chickens. Scott would have to fend for himself I'm afraid. I just didn't have enough hands to save everybody! As it was I might have had to leave Brandon and the alpaca behind! Couldn't hold everybody.
Anyway as I stood there mentally making this list of possible survivors in order of importance I suddenly noticed that Scott was still stood in the bathroom brushing his teeth as if he wanted to have nice breath when he was eaten by the bear! Now, Scott's a thoughtful guy-don't get me wrong, but surely, if nothing else, this would be an opportunity for him to bust out one of his many new guns (Don't get me started on that! It's like an armoury around here. Well crap-now it's started. It IS line an armoury around here but it takes so long to 1. unlock a gun, 2. unlock the trigger, 3. load and 4. get set that if you were to try to ward off any danger with it-even if just by shooting in the air to make noise, we'd all be eaten by the time he got to step 2!) Anyway.
Ok so I've mentally made my list of critters/people to rescue, realized we forgot to pack an 'in case of fuzzy bear emergency kit' so didn't have to worry about grabbing that, decided scott would stay behind as minty fresh bait so I could get away and then I whispered to Scott 'Where is it?' and he said 'On the wall crawling by the bedroom window.'
'On The Wall Crawling By The Bedroom Window.'
I was looking out the bathroom and there was no bear in sight! Hm. This means 1 of 4 things.
A) Scott's gone in sane-most likely with mad cow disease
B) It's one of those super hero bears with invisibility powers
C) In my fright I'd gone blind and was no longer able to see bears
or D) something else.
Now-these aren't mutually exclusive but it turns out the real answer was D)-something else.
Having lived in England for over 11 years I can appreciate the difference in language-believe me there IS a big difference. There were a lot of little phrases and nuances to learn. Saying 1 innocent word could mean the difference between you saying you're dressed or naked! So it shouldn't have come as a surprise to me when I realized Scott ment to say WOOLLY BEAR. As in CATERPILLAR! (See how one word can make all the difference!)
Needless to say, it wasn't one of those man-eating woolly bear caterpillars and we survived to tell the tale. I did however learn an important lesson-always know where your 'in case of emergency fuzzy bear survival kit' is! This kit is much larger than our 'in case of WOOLLY bear emergency survival kit' which consists of a camera and a bottle of water-so you can have a sip of water while you take a picture of the caterpillar cause they're so darn cute! (and fuzzy!)
Here's a pic I took using my emergency kit!
Quite harmless and pretty sweet(and tickley!)
We get a lot of these little fellas out by our house. In fact Scott and I recently had a long discussion about them! You see-they often can be found crossing the road. Have you ever seen a caterpillar running to cross the road?! It's super funny! Anyway they cross the road.
*I will swerve to miss them whenever possible. It's just the way I am. I'm not one for killing much of anything apart from germs in the house. One day we were driving and I said to Scott 'Watch out for that wolley bear' and he hit it! He said 'How can you see them?!' and I said 'They're right there in the road! Then, as I so kindly started to point out all of the OTHER woolly bears in the road so he would miss them he actually started to HIT them! He says he was trying to miss them but I'm telling you-how hard is it to miss a caterpillar! Anyway he got so bad that he was swerving all over the road to 'miss' them. Then he started saying I was crazy~where does he get this stuff?! He said if I drove like that I would get arrested for careless driving. At this point I told him 2 things!
1) I swerve towards the OUTSIDE of the road-not into the center of it! and 2) I highly doubt I'd get in trouble for my driving as it wasn't careless, in fact it was EXTRA careful! I could safely navigate from A to B without intentionally, and in all possible cases actually avoiding, harming any living thing. (if bugs fly into the windshield that's not killing-they are clearly committing suicide-totally different story).
Anyway Scott said he couldn't drive like that, he had to watch the road (at which point I kindly reminded him that these woolly bears were ON the road but he didn't have a rebuttal) & he went back to driving 'in a straight line' (ha! yeah right)
Now I now want a bumper sticker that says 'I swerve for caterpillars and fuzzy bears'. =D
True story folks, you can't make this crap up!
Anyway my point-when Scott told me there was a fuzzy bear outside the bathroom my heart stopped! Bears have been seen around here, rarely, and not recently, but it's not unheard of. I suddenly had visions of this 8000 lb fuzzy bear breaking in the bathroom window in search of picnic baskets! I started mentally making a list of all the animals I could save before this fuzzy bear ravished them in his furry. Cats, ducks, goats, alpaca, Brandon, chickens. Scott would have to fend for himself I'm afraid. I just didn't have enough hands to save everybody! As it was I might have had to leave Brandon and the alpaca behind! Couldn't hold everybody.
Anyway as I stood there mentally making this list of possible survivors in order of importance I suddenly noticed that Scott was still stood in the bathroom brushing his teeth as if he wanted to have nice breath when he was eaten by the bear! Now, Scott's a thoughtful guy-don't get me wrong, but surely, if nothing else, this would be an opportunity for him to bust out one of his many new guns (Don't get me started on that! It's like an armoury around here. Well crap-now it's started. It IS line an armoury around here but it takes so long to 1. unlock a gun, 2. unlock the trigger, 3. load and 4. get set that if you were to try to ward off any danger with it-even if just by shooting in the air to make noise, we'd all be eaten by the time he got to step 2!) Anyway.
Ok so I've mentally made my list of critters/people to rescue, realized we forgot to pack an 'in case of fuzzy bear emergency kit' so didn't have to worry about grabbing that, decided scott would stay behind as minty fresh bait so I could get away and then I whispered to Scott 'Where is it?' and he said 'On the wall crawling by the bedroom window.'
'On The Wall Crawling By The Bedroom Window.'
I was looking out the bathroom and there was no bear in sight! Hm. This means 1 of 4 things.
A) Scott's gone in sane-most likely with mad cow disease
B) It's one of those super hero bears with invisibility powers
C) In my fright I'd gone blind and was no longer able to see bears
or D) something else.
Now-these aren't mutually exclusive but it turns out the real answer was D)-something else.
Having lived in England for over 11 years I can appreciate the difference in language-believe me there IS a big difference. There were a lot of little phrases and nuances to learn. Saying 1 innocent word could mean the difference between you saying you're dressed or naked! So it shouldn't have come as a surprise to me when I realized Scott ment to say WOOLLY BEAR. As in CATERPILLAR! (See how one word can make all the difference!)
Needless to say, it wasn't one of those man-eating woolly bear caterpillars and we survived to tell the tale. I did however learn an important lesson-always know where your 'in case of emergency fuzzy bear survival kit' is! This kit is much larger than our 'in case of WOOLLY bear emergency survival kit' which consists of a camera and a bottle of water-so you can have a sip of water while you take a picture of the caterpillar cause they're so darn cute! (and fuzzy!)
We get a lot of these little fellas out by our house. In fact Scott and I recently had a long discussion about them! You see-they often can be found crossing the road. Have you ever seen a caterpillar running to cross the road?! It's super funny! Anyway they cross the road.
*I will swerve to miss them whenever possible. It's just the way I am. I'm not one for killing much of anything apart from germs in the house. One day we were driving and I said to Scott 'Watch out for that wolley bear' and he hit it! He said 'How can you see them?!' and I said 'They're right there in the road! Then, as I so kindly started to point out all of the OTHER woolly bears in the road so he would miss them he actually started to HIT them! He says he was trying to miss them but I'm telling you-how hard is it to miss a caterpillar! Anyway he got so bad that he was swerving all over the road to 'miss' them. Then he started saying I was crazy~where does he get this stuff?! He said if I drove like that I would get arrested for careless driving. At this point I told him 2 things!
1) I swerve towards the OUTSIDE of the road-not into the center of it! and 2) I highly doubt I'd get in trouble for my driving as it wasn't careless, in fact it was EXTRA careful! I could safely navigate from A to B without intentionally, and in all possible cases actually avoiding, harming any living thing. (if bugs fly into the windshield that's not killing-they are clearly committing suicide-totally different story).
Anyway Scott said he couldn't drive like that, he had to watch the road (at which point I kindly reminded him that these woolly bears were ON the road but he didn't have a rebuttal) & he went back to driving 'in a straight line' (ha! yeah right)
Now I now want a bumper sticker that says 'I swerve for caterpillars and fuzzy bears'. =D
True story folks, you can't make this crap up!
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Hm. That's very Pinteresting. Very Pinteresting indeed!
Yes, I know how spell check works. I MEANT to put Pinteresting.
For those of you who don't know yet (and that seems to be a majority of people) there's a 'New' website called Pinterest.
What is it? Now...at first I didn't see the appeal but just hear me out!
It's like an on line scrap book I guess. Particularly useful for crafty people or people like me who aren't crafty but do crafts anyway!
To start you see a bunch of photos from categories that you have selected i.e. food, arts & crafts etc.
Then you browse those photos and if you like any you can click 'like' but if you REALLY LIKE one you 'pin it' to one of your boards(aka categories).
Still doesn't sound exciting does it? I know, but it really IS!
And it gets better! You can pin things from other sites! Say you like a photo that's in an on line article you're reading-you can pin it! Pinterest always gets the credit details so credit goes to the 'owner' and you aren't 'stealing' anything, so that's great.
I've got lots and LOTS of motivation and inspiration for things that I've seen on there in the past week! Everything from sewing and Halloween costume ideas to home decorating ideas (search for 're-purposing and you get BRILLIANT photos of re-purposed things!)
You can upload any of your own photos if you like.
You can follow your friends and pinterest will show you some of the things they've liked recently and then YOU can like those things as well. For example I liked a Hello Kitty pumpkin, then invited Melissa Thomas to join Pinterest(by the way you need to be invited at the moment so if you want in this SUPER COOL, EXTREMELY EXCLUSIVE club-email me! =) Anyway now I think I've created a monster, poor Melissa must have an entire 'hello kitty' board by now! It's really that addictive!
Even if you're not crafty it's great for inspiration for things. For example today when I signed in one of the new photos I saw was the game TWISTER spray painted on a lawn for a party game! How clever!
Now, going back to something I said earlier... I may be responsible for Melissa Thomas' Pinterest addiction but Donna B is to blame for mine! She invited me and now I have to check out what's Pinteresting each morning! I love it, and scott doesn't mind eating take out on days when I've wasted a little too much time on pinterest. That's the one bad thing about it I suppose... You can just 'pop' on to look for dinner ideas and end up finding so many pictures you like that you don't, in fact, have time to cook that night! =D
Anyway, I strongly suggest you check it out! If you start and don't understand it or can't get the hang of it let me know, I'm getting to be quite the expert!
AND! I've added a 'follow me on pinterest' button on this blog! Just click it and see what happens! =D
See...told you it was Pinteresting! Click Here to see!
For those of you who don't know yet (and that seems to be a majority of people) there's a 'New' website called Pinterest.
What is it? Now...at first I didn't see the appeal but just hear me out!
It's like an on line scrap book I guess. Particularly useful for crafty people or people like me who aren't crafty but do crafts anyway!
To start you see a bunch of photos from categories that you have selected i.e. food, arts & crafts etc.
Then you browse those photos and if you like any you can click 'like' but if you REALLY LIKE one you 'pin it' to one of your boards(aka categories).
Still doesn't sound exciting does it? I know, but it really IS!
And it gets better! You can pin things from other sites! Say you like a photo that's in an on line article you're reading-you can pin it! Pinterest always gets the credit details so credit goes to the 'owner' and you aren't 'stealing' anything, so that's great.
I've got lots and LOTS of motivation and inspiration for things that I've seen on there in the past week! Everything from sewing and Halloween costume ideas to home decorating ideas (search for 're-purposing and you get BRILLIANT photos of re-purposed things!)
You can upload any of your own photos if you like.
You can follow your friends and pinterest will show you some of the things they've liked recently and then YOU can like those things as well. For example I liked a Hello Kitty pumpkin, then invited Melissa Thomas to join Pinterest(by the way you need to be invited at the moment so if you want in this SUPER COOL, EXTREMELY EXCLUSIVE club-email me! =) Anyway now I think I've created a monster, poor Melissa must have an entire 'hello kitty' board by now! It's really that addictive!
Even if you're not crafty it's great for inspiration for things. For example today when I signed in one of the new photos I saw was the game TWISTER spray painted on a lawn for a party game! How clever!
Now, going back to something I said earlier... I may be responsible for Melissa Thomas' Pinterest addiction but Donna B is to blame for mine! She invited me and now I have to check out what's Pinteresting each morning! I love it, and scott doesn't mind eating take out on days when I've wasted a little too much time on pinterest. That's the one bad thing about it I suppose... You can just 'pop' on to look for dinner ideas and end up finding so many pictures you like that you don't, in fact, have time to cook that night! =D
Anyway, I strongly suggest you check it out! If you start and don't understand it or can't get the hang of it let me know, I'm getting to be quite the expert!
AND! I've added a 'follow me on pinterest' button on this blog! Just click it and see what happens! =D
See...told you it was Pinteresting! Click Here to see!
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Big deal-isn't a back spasm just a cramp in your back?
O M G!
Ever had a back spasm? I'm talking a full blown rib crushing spasm? I was introduced to the world of Spaz this week.
Now, if you've been keeping up with my blog entries then you know that just under 4 weeks ago my horse fell while I was riding and she broke my foot. Ouch. That hurt. It hurt BAD but I didn't shed a tear. Just went to hospital and if anyone tried to touch my broken foot I just kicked them with my 1 good one. Problem solved.
Now if you've ever used crutches before you know how EXTREMELY difficult it can make your life. Things you took for granted-like carrying a simple cup of coffee, were now impossible. For the first week on crutches I drank all of my drinks at the kitchen counter. A friend(thanks Melissa) suggested a cup with a lid, which helped immensely but there were still other issues-like making dinner. That was not fun.
Eventually the dr said I could start to crutch walk-this means putting my foot down slightly and walking on it while still putting most of my weight on the crutches. Now I interpreted this to mean-you don't need crutches anymore-feel free to dance around the house! I was careful to only put weight on my heal(I broke the 5th metatarsal by the way-long bone on outside edge of left foot). Well after a day or two of that I was in pain so went back to the crutches(except when I was desperate for a cup of coffee!)
So I 'crutched' my way through life until my arms throbbed. If you use them right you don't out any weight on the crutches under your arm pits, you put the weight into your hands.
Now it was around the end of week 3 that I realized how much I actually do! As a stay at home mom I'm often told-or overhear others say-that stay at home moms don't do much apart from watch soap operas etc. Turns out that's not true!(fyi we don't even have cable tv so no soaps for me! I hate cable tv). Anyway-muscles were aching a bit but it seemed that was the only work out I could get.
Then Wednesday my back started to hurt. Do you know where your rhomboids are? Those muscles at the base of your neck between shoulder blades. Anyway I was hurtin so I laid down on an ice pack and took some strong pills that I had in the house. Only things didn't get better-I got much worse! To the point that when Nikki the cat jumped up to lay on my stomach (something he does all the time) I couldn't even move to push him off! I couldn't take a breath! It was awful.
I called the dr to get some advice and while talking to the nurse she said I had to hang up and call 911 YIKES. She said that there was a good chance I had a blood clot in my lung! (double yikes!).
I have to tell you that by this point I was crying-it hurt that bad. I called my neighbour (Thanks Miranda) to come sit by me til the ambulance arrived cause I was freakin out! I'm telling you folks, I've had a broken leg, a broken arm and now a broken foot. I've had a c section after 24 hours of labour and none of it hurt like this. Don't get me wrong-labour hurts like a s.o.b but the contractions give you a small, tiny even, break in between. This was worse.
Anyway-ambulance arrived, lifted me onto one of those boards and carried me out of the house. I remember at this point I was shaking because it hurt so bad, but the shaking made it hurt more! It was nothing like a cramp, as I'd previously thought. I guess, never having had one-a cramp was the closest thing I could think of to compare it to, but I've had cramps and pulled muscles and this, folks, was worse!
Got to hoospital and was given a shot of pain killers and muscle relaxers. I'd already taken hydrocodone and between that and the shot I felt...exactly the same but now I had a soar spot on my bum from where she jabbed me! Gee thanks! Kick me while I'm down. So they hooked up some iv meds. Great. Now I could almost take a breath without screaming inside. Then...oh god... They wanted me to move! They needed to take xrays and I had to sit up!
Anyway, long story short-it WAS a muscle spasm, they couldn't see any clots, and they sent me home with 4 bottles full of lovely medicines! Two days later I can almost move my right arm enough to shampoo my own hair, but i've learned my lesson about overdoing it. They said that the spasm was most likely caused by using the crutches too much. It's like they expect me to sit still all day and night and not move! Hello! Well one way or another I needed a break apparently. Took my pills when I got home and slept most of the next day away.
Taking it easy(well, easier) now. Still aching but it's nothing a hand full of these pills can't fix!
Moral of the story is... just drink your coffee at the kitchen counter instead of trying to carry it while on crutches cause you'll get burned and you're probably overdoing it anyway and you will send your back muscles into spasms which hurt like a mother! ((Is that too long of a sentence to be a moral? tough. So long as I'm stuck sitting here I'll type as much as I can! =D ))
Now, where can I get a t-shirt that says 'I survived the back spasm of 2011.?
Ever had a back spasm? I'm talking a full blown rib crushing spasm? I was introduced to the world of Spaz this week.
Now, if you've been keeping up with my blog entries then you know that just under 4 weeks ago my horse fell while I was riding and she broke my foot. Ouch. That hurt. It hurt BAD but I didn't shed a tear. Just went to hospital and if anyone tried to touch my broken foot I just kicked them with my 1 good one. Problem solved.
Now if you've ever used crutches before you know how EXTREMELY difficult it can make your life. Things you took for granted-like carrying a simple cup of coffee, were now impossible. For the first week on crutches I drank all of my drinks at the kitchen counter. A friend(thanks Melissa) suggested a cup with a lid, which helped immensely but there were still other issues-like making dinner. That was not fun.
Eventually the dr said I could start to crutch walk-this means putting my foot down slightly and walking on it while still putting most of my weight on the crutches. Now I interpreted this to mean-you don't need crutches anymore-feel free to dance around the house! I was careful to only put weight on my heal(I broke the 5th metatarsal by the way-long bone on outside edge of left foot). Well after a day or two of that I was in pain so went back to the crutches(except when I was desperate for a cup of coffee!)
So I 'crutched' my way through life until my arms throbbed. If you use them right you don't out any weight on the crutches under your arm pits, you put the weight into your hands.
Now it was around the end of week 3 that I realized how much I actually do! As a stay at home mom I'm often told-or overhear others say-that stay at home moms don't do much apart from watch soap operas etc. Turns out that's not true!(fyi we don't even have cable tv so no soaps for me! I hate cable tv). Anyway-muscles were aching a bit but it seemed that was the only work out I could get.
Then Wednesday my back started to hurt. Do you know where your rhomboids are? Those muscles at the base of your neck between shoulder blades. Anyway I was hurtin so I laid down on an ice pack and took some strong pills that I had in the house. Only things didn't get better-I got much worse! To the point that when Nikki the cat jumped up to lay on my stomach (something he does all the time) I couldn't even move to push him off! I couldn't take a breath! It was awful.
I called the dr to get some advice and while talking to the nurse she said I had to hang up and call 911 YIKES. She said that there was a good chance I had a blood clot in my lung! (double yikes!).
I have to tell you that by this point I was crying-it hurt that bad. I called my neighbour (Thanks Miranda) to come sit by me til the ambulance arrived cause I was freakin out! I'm telling you folks, I've had a broken leg, a broken arm and now a broken foot. I've had a c section after 24 hours of labour and none of it hurt like this. Don't get me wrong-labour hurts like a s.o.b but the contractions give you a small, tiny even, break in between. This was worse.
Anyway-ambulance arrived, lifted me onto one of those boards and carried me out of the house. I remember at this point I was shaking because it hurt so bad, but the shaking made it hurt more! It was nothing like a cramp, as I'd previously thought. I guess, never having had one-a cramp was the closest thing I could think of to compare it to, but I've had cramps and pulled muscles and this, folks, was worse!
Got to hoospital and was given a shot of pain killers and muscle relaxers. I'd already taken hydrocodone and between that and the shot I felt...exactly the same but now I had a soar spot on my bum from where she jabbed me! Gee thanks! Kick me while I'm down. So they hooked up some iv meds. Great. Now I could almost take a breath without screaming inside. Then...oh god... They wanted me to move! They needed to take xrays and I had to sit up!
Anyway, long story short-it WAS a muscle spasm, they couldn't see any clots, and they sent me home with 4 bottles full of lovely medicines! Two days later I can almost move my right arm enough to shampoo my own hair, but i've learned my lesson about overdoing it. They said that the spasm was most likely caused by using the crutches too much. It's like they expect me to sit still all day and night and not move! Hello! Well one way or another I needed a break apparently. Took my pills when I got home and slept most of the next day away.
Taking it easy(well, easier) now. Still aching but it's nothing a hand full of these pills can't fix!
Moral of the story is... just drink your coffee at the kitchen counter instead of trying to carry it while on crutches cause you'll get burned and you're probably overdoing it anyway and you will send your back muscles into spasms which hurt like a mother! ((Is that too long of a sentence to be a moral? tough. So long as I'm stuck sitting here I'll type as much as I can! =D ))
Now, where can I get a t-shirt that says 'I survived the back spasm of 2011.?
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